Tuesday, May 18, 2021

bitterness

 I don't know the things that I've been feeling.

I want to understand what I have done.

I try to comprehend the words that roll across my mind

but there's no clarity, no place to run.


I think I did the right things when I knew you.

I felt our souls connect when we were there

I knew the man you were and I was with you

I don't think that I reached to where you were.


I knew the pain you bore, the things that haunt you

I reached beside you, grasping for an end

We shed our blood and sweat and loved the moment

We spoke of virtue and we spoke of sin.


I can't escape the vapors of your memory

I look around, it lingers everywhere

So many dreams and plans became entangled

And now I pull them back from bitter ends.


I've tried to keep composure, keep my presence

I want to be the strong one in the crowd,

But when I think the tears have finally ended,

They seem to always come and find  me out.