Musings of the Smirking Taoist

big blue shelf

2009-11-16T21:27:00.000-08:00

Big blue shelf sitting empty waiting on someone come to fill me up.
Sweet young thing looking at me. Drinking her wine from a little tin cup.
Big man standing at attention, leaning on the edge he soon gonna push his luck.
Grease poppin’ happy in a skillet. Put it all on the plate ,gonna eat it all up!

Dog barkin up at the corner. Kitty cat run gonna get him down.
Pistons pumpin' in a Pinto,camshaft spinning with a funky sound.
The goat come running down the mountain. Ram on the run an he cover some ground.
Man on a dare in the green underware, and he's strolling though town.

Shaking that thang with a low tone, walking on a pencil line.
Ship watching me with the sonar, drink the brine.
Shacking up with the ghost of a Jack mule,saw you die.
Listen in to the wind,to the sound of your sin
To the halogenic din,
of the thoughtfullest lie.

eyes I still see

2009-11-16T21:24:00.000-08:00

I saw the smile drop, like a hidden glow,
It disappeared as if there is a switch you throw
To turn on the face to use when you go
Open up the door and navigate the flow
Of the situations that have brought you low
And made you reap the fields that you did not sow.

It’s like the fire inside is trying to go out
But nobody can hear you when you try to shout
You just put on your shoes and try to go about
The life to which you’re forced to be devout.

But your eyes scream out, I gotta get away
There are walls within which I loathe to stay
And though in veiled despair I walk another day
Somehow, desperately I need a way.

I see you wake up and punch in to life
Going through the day just putting in your time
And when you can you drop in your dime
To try and call up feelings of a different kind
I can’t lie, watching this it kills me.
As I go home at night to what fulfills me.
All I can do is pray that someday you’ll be
Where your eyes don’t hide the things I still see.

Because it crawls into me like it is a disease
I can’t fight it, cause all I have are hands like these
I want to grab it, but all I do is freeze,
It’s a door that’s locked and I don’t have the keys.

I see a reflection, mirrored within my care
That somewhere deep in me, there’s a monster there
It bides it’s time in its darkened lair
But its itching to crawl out and feel the air

And all the people who think they can see me
Take a step back now. Move your feet.
My metamorphosis into the dark beast
As on the life I knew, upon it I feast.

I will grow beyond the reach of your distant smile
Carrying mine, I’ll go miles and miles,

The Reapers Dirge

2009-11-10T18:03:00.001-08:00

So I’m sitting here and waiting and sometimes anticipating
A little moment I might steal away with you.
As you quietly avoid me, run away from my inquiry,
Hoping I won’t have the will to follow through.

Acting like you cannot see me here a watching from behind the mirror
And dancing with you when you are alone.
Sneaking in and out of your dreams where you aren’t afraid of memory
Suspicious that my arms will be your home.

Oh now don’t spent time in worry, dear I’m never in a hurry,
I’ve yet to run late for a single call.
I lie, there may be two or three but few have yet complained to me
That I should have been no later than last fall.

So when you wake up in the morning time and wonder if you’re on my mind
Just breathe the air and feel your skin aglow.
In due time I’ll turn my eyes to you, then there’s no wall I won’t go through
To my dark and warm embrace you then shall go.

Walkabout

2009-10-27T09:58:00.000-07:00

The rain, the rain, the tepid rain
the sullen mists, the muddy lanes
that splish and splash upon my shoes
As through the mud I do peruse.

I walk'ed once in sunny light,
The sheer exquisite mirth, delight
of feeling rays upon this skin
softly attired, so light and thin

But now, oh now, I'm burdened so
With piles and piles of heavy clothes.
With pants and socks and sweaters thick
With coats and hats and boots that click

Upon the muddy cobbled path
I trudge upon, with eyes downcast
To make it to the hallowed halls
Contained within the bricken walls
And little desks like horses stalls
Where all, like one big face that falls
Hear words of no import at all...

but.........

Deep within a secret spot
where all these things out here are not,
I still retain a tiny door
That all the kings and priests deplore.

A door to unforgotten place
where absence builds, does not erase.
Where little hobbits frolic round
And green things spring up from the ground.

A place I walked as just a child,
But haven't seen, untouched and wild,
Barefooted on a walk about.
It seems I’m here but I’m there now.

Dance

2009-10-21T22:20:00.001-07:00

Movement slightly hidden ‘neath a sheer and silken blouse
That just conceals the gentle landscape of your skin.
Lips that rest with just the slightest hint of open smile
And deepest eyes that make my eyes return again.
With the gentle undulations as you move now through the dim
Light, flows like dark molasses sensuous and sweet.
Unrestrained I seek the solace of the places just unseen
The shallow breaths and primal ache as our eyes meet.
Hips are swaying with the rhythm, syncopated thick desire
Moonlight splashes, feel the yearning of a dance.
Erasing space between the touches, space around begins to dim
Only sensuously breathing, lidded glance.
Smoothest jolt of heady lightening, fingertips on sleeveless arm
Gliding, aching, reaching for willing embrace.
Touch, exploring things forbidden, watching lips, a blissful glow,
Intoxicating, feeling body, lover’s taste.
Passion burning inhibitions, sinking, floating to the floor,
Lie on bed of things discarded, eyes aglow.
Surrender any thought returning, heat still rising all around
As the overwhelming hunger upward flows.
Thick with atmospheric drawing, opening to voiceless call,
Tender trembling slowly find a path to go,
Intimate, embracing shadows, softly calling names of love,
Till the breaking waves are mustered, overflow.

Riding the Wind, Continuum

2009-10-18T13:01:00.000-07:00

I feel my anger rise up, quite nearly out of control,
Fueled by time and space and stories I haven’t told.
The motivation that drives me that I don’t understand.
(But does it only feel hot contained in this little can?)
I will go ahead. I will tell myself no.
My life is moving too slow.
There’s places I want to go.
I want to feel like I’m not spending every waking minute
Fighting with the damn world, trying to make my way in it.

I look at where I am and I clench my fist.
A voice in my soul says “You are better than this!”
And in a place so deep I can’t begin to describe
A fire consumes me and it will not die.
Is it fueled by love or does it burn on hate?
Are there tiny bits of me that I’ll negotiate?
They say it’s love that makes this funky world go ‘round,
But there are days it rings out with a hollow sound.
Days that love is lost and it cannot be found.
When the fox finds out it can’t escape the hounds.
When the devils henchmen go to make their rounds
And they take what you’ve done and they hold you down.
Now you feel like you’re standing, piss in the wind.
Like you’re guilty but you never did commit the sin.
Like the weight of the world will keep you down and then
You will slowly sink down into the lion’s den.
But I will not die. I will not back down.
From the demon whispering “forsake your crown.”
You will find me pushing with my last breath,
Bastard son I am, of the carnal flesh.
And while you sit and shake under shadow cold,
Though I feel the pain, I will not be sold
To the shiny mold that shapes up the soul
And tells only the tale it desires to be told.

So you find me running and a’ running and a’ running a pace
At which the mortal men fall down and hide their face.
Go ahead and tell me all about my sins,
But tell me how you catch the one that’s riding the wind.
Riding the wind

The Tavern Song

2009-10-18T13:00:00.000-07:00

Around me I was glancing,As I stood and watched you dancing,
I have come to the conclusion that you're not the one for me.
I don't get lost in eyes a’ sparklin', Or your smiles and coyly flirtin’,
And I can't conceive a reason to desire your company.

You walk around here lookin' pretty,
Saying things so cute and witty,
Grabbing up all the attention of the ones who come your way.
I’m unmoved by your warm beauty,
Your swaying hips mean nothing to me,
And though intoxicated by you, I could clearly walk away.

Try as I may I can't imagine any reason I'd be standing here
A waiting to be blessed with just a glance that's turned my way.
There is no lass that I can see, for whom I'd give up being free,
Please take your chains right off of me and I'll surely run away.

You walk on by so sweet and sassy,
To rosy lips you touched your glass and
I was not reduced to silence by your tantalizing gaze.
I’ve no desire to get to know you,
Or to take you out and show you,
A thing or two with which the two of us could occupy our days.

I swear I’ll not stare at your figure,
Or ask the barkeep “Who came with her”
I can think of many better things to occupy my time.
I’ll sit here and drink my whiskey,
So that the lady that’s here with me,
Doesn’t see me looking at you and then end my mortal life.

Try as I may I can't imagine any reason I'd be standing here
A waiting to be blessed with just a glance that's my way turned.
There is no lass of which I’ve heard, for whom I'd give my life with her,
Please take your chains right off of me and I’m sure your love I’ll spurn.

Home

2009-10-18T12:58:00.000-07:00

For the moment I’ve forgotten why I left my loves embrace,
To ride a cursed’ ship, cross a cursed’ sea, to find this wretched place.
The lust I had for battle has been quenched with blood my own,
And the bitter taste of powder as I lie here all alone.

But my mind sees grass a blowin’ nigh a gentle bubblin’ stream.
I see your long dress a flowin’ and your eyes a sparkling green.
If I reach my hand out far enough I swear I’ll touch your face,
Let your love warm me, take me, somewhere far from this dread place.

They told us of the glory, of the fine things we would do.
They gave me a long musket and a dry biscuit or two.
Then they set us against hundreds, and our hearts froze up with fear,
Courage comes to nothin’, when it drowns in blood and tears.

But my mind sees grass a blowin’ nigh a gentle bubblin’ stream.
I see your long dress a flowin’ and your eyes a sparkling green.
If I reach my hand out far enough I swear I’ll touch your face,
Let your love warm me, take me, somewhere far from this dread place.

The night has long since fallen and I can’t seem to decide,
If the wind is growing colder, or it’s only fear inside.
Seems the clouds are getting deeper for the stars I cannot see.
Stead a vision, hills a rollin’ and a lovely emerald sheen.

Now I see grass a blowin’ nigh a gentle bubblin’ stream.
I see your long dress a flowin’ and your eyes a sparkling green.
If I reach my hand out far enough I swear I’ll touch your face,
Let your love warm me, take me, back to home, the sacred place.

Now I will walk beside you though my steps you cannot see,
The pipes they ring out ore’ the hills, play ‘em loud for me.
Though I travel where you cannot go I’m never far away,
From the soft fall of the water and the sun at end of day.

2009-10-09T06:44:00.000-07:00

Ten fathoms a'neath the deep blue sea, where ghosts and fishies play,
I ran 'cross an old graybeard astride a dapple bay.
“Three cheers”, said he, then sipped his tea and rode the steed away.
But 'fore he quite got out of sight,
Though hazy in the failing light
Out rang his voice with all his might
And what he spoke (‘f I heard him right),
“This sandy floor I do deplore but here I’m bound to stay”.

“Twenty-nine and three of cannon had weWhen we heard the bloody scream.
At Cap'ns cry the iron did fly, but we shot into the sea.
A ship of ghosts, of pirates gone
A bark of swirling mists,
And as they cleared, twas deadly fear that clutched within our chests.

On rock like wicked blades of saw our vessel then was tossed,
Me and all me sailor men were to the depths then lost.
So here ye find me ridin' round, a watchin out for some
Unlikely chap such as yersef', to join this sopp'ed slum.”

“This cannot be!", says I to he,And grasped to reach the top.
"I've one true love across the sea and here I cannae' stop!"
He gave a hearty, bold guffaw and looked his eyes around,
"Well lad, you dinnae understand, tis she who drug you down!

Yer lass was stowed safe down below when we raised the pirates mast,
And here she be, beneath the sea, a watchin' fer you to pass."

Talisman

2009-10-09T06:42:00.000-07:00

Wind, the rain in my hair, stinging cold on my face,
Evil run to my left, in inhospitable place.
Pulling my feet through a race, the land around me a waste,
Deep in the murkiest maze, demons behind me give chase.

I reach up grasping for you, that place I clasp you onto,
For strength and something that’s true, I seldom know what to do,
So you continue to stand, while I roam over the land
And when I don’t hold your hand, still pull me over the sand

Where I would sink to the pit, a light that cannot be lit,
The place despondency sits, where all the best things are missed,
And I’d have lost all of this, and entertained the foul kiss,
Of a deep sensual bliss that comes from blood soaken fist,
But grasping you the claw missed, the band that rose to the bliss.
And though I knew not my wish, the weight of you was the dish,

That served the delicate touch, a taste, subliminal push,
A slow sensational rush, causing my soul’s face to flush,
I place you next to my heart, before the horrors can start,
To block it out of the part of me that can’t go that far,

The one constrained to these walls, to the methodical calls,
The mortal trips and the falls, and stumbling blind down the halls,
Yearning to just be so tall, outpace the reach of the jaws,
Saying my heart is now gone, my conscience nothing at all.

So you find me running and a’ running and a’ running away,
You’ll see me gunning for and shunning searing light of the day
Though I will never stop to look at all the places I ran,
I carry you and keep you with me, you’re my Talisman.
My Talisman.

Climbing up walls too steep, the end of which I can’t see,
The angry mountain I meet, How can I stand on my feet?
But on precarious seat, I find you there next to me,
And at the end of my strength, you’re that upon which I lean.

It’s like you planted a seed, no matter where I may be,
As if to cure my disease, my heart that’s trying to freeze,
The unexplainable keys, that set the fury at ease,
To exorcise all the demons that are living in me.

Compelling me to emotions, like an alchemist’s potion,
Words I seldom have told you, much I have left unspoken,
Parts of me that were sold to bidders callous and cold,
You are my strength to take hold, to take back things that were stole,

To find a path I can take, you hold my spirit at bay,
Until I’m fully awake, you make me see my mistakes,
See through the faces I fake, the things that I cannot take,
The dreams I see when awake, making my very soul shake,

So you find me running and a running and a running to you,
To find a way to make you see that it is you that I choose,
And while they try to hold me down, they try to stay my hand,
I carry you and keep you with me, you’re my Talisman.
My Talisman.

Smiling Shadow

2009-10-09T06:41:00.002-07:00

Today I looked into your eyes,
And there I saw a tear,
That your words did not convey.
Hidden, in layers buried deeply.
In rooms no one may enter,
A place that never sees the day.

Born not, of the wind and fury,
Of passion and bold heart break,
And love blasted away.
Rather, a slow and tender yearning,
From looking all around you,
And not seeing a way.

The tears that, collected over years and,
Slowly find their way in,
All your silent dreams.
The dreams that, though they may consume you,
And burn with heat no one knew,
Stay locked, you dare not find the key.

You slowly make your way through,
Knowing no one else can see you.
None comprehend the clandestine truth,
That this is not the real you.

As I look into your eyes and,
There I find a tear that,
Your words do not convey.
My soul aches, to offer some respite from,
The silent shadow hiding,
Behind the smiling face.

The Piano

2009-10-09T06:41:00.001-07:00

Oh that night, separated now by years and wounds and joys.
That afternoon sitting at the piano, you beside me, playing, playing
And talking in the subtle and awkward hints of an infatuated youth, green as springtime hills.
Conversations lightly brushing against the yearning for wild abandon and love,
Never voicing the desire, the tumultuous sea of want churning from the hips and the eyes and the soul.
It was a sexual desire, yes, but more.
Embodied within it was that secret drive, that beautiful beast
That looks upon each new mountain as a chance to climb. That vigor that time tempers to domesticity, not yet caged.
It was love, no less so for its hazy objectivity.
Love for the hunt, for the feel of dew on bare feet walking with other bare feet.
Not jaded by time, unmolested by the complications of the life we pile upon ourselves.
It was pure.
And though paths diverge and time heals old and finds new,
While sitting there so long ago, when I felt your body press against mine for our closeness, it was right.

Green Man’s Lamentation to Bridget

2009-10-09T06:38:00.001-07:00

What if I kindly offered to wait, oh, couple hundred years for you
If I sat here on my pallet in the shade.
I’d weather all the snow and things, boiling July the rainy springs
While all the while my love refused to fade.

Pigeons would come and roost on me. Be buried neath the autumn leaves.
But damp and cold won’t change my mind at all.
And when you finally walk on by, a twinkle will spark in my eye
I’ll tell you all the odd things that I saw.

A man who wrote with fountain pens, ran with a lass intent on sin,
To sprawl beneath the branches, laugh and tease.
Young girl with her mother there, folded a flag with loving care
And left a box from far across the sea.

Before me some made tender love and others raged, bright flashes from
The warring that they seldom understood.
My roots have been fed with the blood of patriots and scorn’ed love
And tears from fathers wishing that they could.

Two hundred years I’ve watched from here, the goings and the coming near
The mighty towers and the fallen dreams.
These mortal men who walk so proud, lifting voices feeble, loud,
I’m weary of their rumblings now it seems.

I’ll go now with you to forests deep, to places far, still wild and steep
And fill my breast with breaths that aren’t so cold.
Hold you in my aged arms, taste the nectar of your charms
And feel the rapture, comfort of your soul

Sister Sarah

2009-10-09T06:36:00.000-07:00

Did you hear me Sister Sarah,
Is there someone on the line?
Did ya’ walk me in the warm rain,
To bed of linen, felt so fine.
Was it all some vain distraction,
Scenes I played out in my mind.
Did you feel my words so sweetly
Fallin’ on you the whole time?

I do suspect I’m finished chasin’ as my efforts do not prove,
I have reached inside that castle and extracted some of you!
I’m runnin’ off down some old byway, for to lose myself and then,
Once’d I finish runnin’ from you, I’ll be runnin’ back again.

Is there something Sister Sarah,
P’on which you’d kindly fill me in.
I been clean all over Texas,
Workin’ off my mortal sin!
I have spoken to the devil,
And his ninety proof hit man.
He hollered he don’t want me
Sent me back to you again.

I packed up all my baggage on a train that do not run.
I sure like some assistance, we could surely have some fun.
You can hike you skirt and run off, but I’ll ride that train to you.
Come on Sarah make ya’ mine up, you got here and now to choose.

Swords and Plows

2009-09-24T19:16:00.000-07:00

Swords and Plows.

Bam, Slam, A hammer and a ram,
A tong in a fire and a hiss in a can.
A fire glowing red, dancing iron in a bed
The glisten of a sweat and the grime on the sand.

Spinning all alone, digging deep in a bone
Of a steel swinging arm, of a blood-letting stone.
Of a kill dealing brace, run away, hide your face,
From the grim, jolly grin of a pale running roan.

Put it up, put it down, men are dead in the ground,
Seeds a sprung in the spring, when the rain come on down.
Fights a done, days begin, woman lie with the kin,
And the food at an end, and the little belly sound
So the death dealing thing, in the fire, turn around.

Bam, Slam, A hammer and a ram,
A tong in a fire and a hiss in a can.
A fire glowing red, dancing iron in a bed
The glisten of a sweat and the grime on the sand.

Bend it down, make it lack, take it in, roll it back,
Tie it on, pull a sack, put the taters in the back,
‘Till it full, ‘till it packed, take it down, get it stacked
When the snow start to fly, bellies full in the shack.